When i started MTO, it really was on accident. There was rhyme and reason behind the accident and I truly believe that the universe was pushing me in that direction for a reason. There were a lot of moms who thought “oh here is another Bergen county mom trying to get attention”. Once they met me and once they heard my story, they knew I wasn’t full of shit. I really do care.
Almost three years later, and not without its ups and downs, we are all still here and growing strong. Growing strong… I don’t mean by numbers. I don’t mean by popularity. We are growing strong in the meaning behind the page and its value in our community but also outside of MTO. You are shining examples to each other, your children, and the outside world. Really you are and I am so proud to be a part of that.
I have met numerous women throughout the existence of MTO. I have become very good friends with many. Some only through private messaging who I have never met. Some friendships came and went. I know there are moms here who have created their own tribes as a result of this group. There are many many women I have only met or talked to a handful of times but still remember and of whose, many have touched my life with their stories.
I know that each of us have our own private struggles. We talk here in this space, about being mothers and the joys and the pains that come along with that journey but for a lot of us, we had struggles prior to starting our families. Resolved or unresolved… once we gave birth to our children, our lives took a different focus. Many issues that we have whether they stem from childhood, relationships, marriage… they all sort of take a back seat because we are the ones who have to be the champions, protectors, caretakers, teachers; the ones who have to give love in massive amounts without getting that sort of love and security back. Most of us have a hard time even loving ourselves sometimes. Yes…we do receive love from our children that is unconditional. Yes, we do receive love from our SO’s and maybe you get a lot and maybe you don’t but there is NOTHING like the love of a woman who adores and reveres her family.
When our children are given to us, our #1 job in life is to love, nurture, and protect those children at all costs. Many of us put our own mental, emotional, and physical health on the back burner. After giving out the love, the punishments, the reasoning, the patience… It is hard to focus on your relationships with your spouses, SO’s, co workers, other family members, etc. We sacrifice so much and sometimes we can feel so bankrupt. Right? Bankrupt sounds like an appropriate word. A lot of times its hard to give to anything else because we have used up everything in our bank.
I know that we all try the best we can but its OK to admit that this is what motherhood can do to a woman. There is NO way that most men could do half of what we do on a daily basis. They think we are nuts. I told my SO last night that every man should be a woman for a couple of months and he just rolled his eyes at me. I just ignored the response. Fight wasn’t even worth it. LOL. Every day you should look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am f’n rockstar” and nobody is going to take that away from me. Own it because its true and nobody can take that away from you unless you let them.
To love, nurture, and protect… That is a tall order right? Many of us don’t even realize the magnitude of that until faced with such struggle where your child(ren)’s mental, physical, and emotional health are threatened. I am in constant awe of the moms on this page. The dedication to their loved ones but also the support of each other. In the world of social media, everything looks peaceful and calm but I can tell you that for many it is not. There are many of you who are struggling this holiday season and there are some that are dealing with situations that you would never imagine could happen to you. They never imagined it could happen to them.
I ask you to send out prayers. If you don’t pray, I ask you to send out loving thoughts of courage, love, empathy, hope. Those moms out there need light and love to get through dark times but they also need it so they can continue to give light and love to their own.
“Remember, you are the light of love in the darkness.”
“Enlighten everyone you meet in your journey of life with the light of your love and kindness.”
“Be the light of love to enlighten the whole world.”
“Let us walk with the light of love on the path toward peace.”