I truly believe that the parenting journey would be much more pleasant and less of a mind and body drain, if we got along with our partners; our significant others, our better halves, our soulmates and compatible counterparts. Right? I believe that it’s not the kids fault that we aren’t feeling happy and fulfilled on an every other day basis. I blame it us. I blame it on the parents. When coupling is going well and everything is balanced, parenting is great. When we aren’t, and want to kill each other every day, it makes everything seem 100 times more difficult. Even those of you who are divorced or on your second or third rodeo, can pick up what I’m laying down.
I talk a lot about self-care but part of that involves getting our sexual needs taken care of as well which sort of trickles down to feeling better. When it comes to our mindset towards our partner, more sex can lead to focusing on what turns us on vs. harping on what turns us off which tends to keep you out of the bedroom (or wherever it is that you like to do it). Let’s just be honest. Lack of sex does 0, NADA, NOTHNG positive for your relationship. It creates resentment, hostility, anxiety, insecurity, and even depression.
“Withholding love distorts reality. It makes the people who do the withholding ugly and small-hearted. It makes the people from whom things are withheld crazy and desperate and incapable of knowing what they feel. Don’t be strategic or coy. Strategic and coy are for jackasses. Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word love to the people you love so when it matters the most to say it, you will.” ~Cheryl Strayed
What’s the problem folks? To have a mind blowing healthy sex life does NOT equate to the participants needing to look like two hot movie stars. Don’t’ falter. Don’t hold back. Who cares if you are 20 lbs. overweight. Ladies, who cares if your breasts aren’t sitting front and center any more. Men don’t care. Really, they don’t. They care that you aren’t having sex with them. Get past the exterior insecurities and focus on what sex is supposed to about; connection, feeling satisfied physically and emotionally. Don’t forget intimacy! That’s where you come in Dad! I know you are tired and all, but you MUST put a little time and effort in to your lady. You know what I mean. Find out what she likes and give it to her for more than 30 seconds if you want to get it more than six times a year.
TIME… Now this is a major problem, right? In my house we have communicated about and experimented with what gets us both off in the limited amount of time we have to achieve the “Big O”. That 15 or 20 minutes is all we need a few times a month. It took over three years to get there but we had to “just do it”. Do we irritate the crap out of each other every other day just like every other parenting couple out there? Yes, but the fact that we connect on a very personal level (even if it’s only for a total of 30-45 minutes a month) reminds us that we do like each other. It’s scientifically proven that the more you do it, the more you want it and that’s just a big WIN-WIN for everybody, including your kids. We need to do more in the way of self-care because our children need us to be a happy Mommy and Daddy. They need it, they deserve it, and so do you.
Any thoughts? Comment below or shoot me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org!!! If there is anything you’d like me to write about, let me know!!! XO, Renee